We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
