worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My penis needs a shock collar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
