I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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