Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
