ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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