Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
