My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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