I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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