just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you never un-have a 4some
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize