You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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