Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You ate ashes out of my bong
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize