Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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