Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I smell stomach acid.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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