Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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