just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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