Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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