question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize