conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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