I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize