this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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