Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
