I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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