ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
