Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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