If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
