I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
