It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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