My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
