kristin has been a bad kristin
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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