i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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