Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
