Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
