I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize