No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
