I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
