I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
