it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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