i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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