What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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