honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.