If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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