Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
