You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize