physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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