All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
