you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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