also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
