I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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