You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
