Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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