Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
my poor anus
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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