i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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