Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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