just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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