I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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