i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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